Celebrating Sweeties Update

Celebrating Sweeties Update

What I love about Celebrating Sweeties is that it is a safe place to publicly remember children that have died. It is an unfortunate reality that our culture doesn’t know what to say to bereaved parents. What is typically said when an older person dies – “At least (s)he lived a long, full life” – does not apply. I am hoping that this will change. That we can develop a supportive and compassionate vocabulary to talk miscarriage, stillbirth, SIDS, and all other kids of pregnancy loss and early infant loss – not to mention the death of an older or adult child as well. That is the goal of “The Healthy Grief Movement.”  New Sweeties to Celebrate It is always bittersweet for me to add a new baby or older child to the...

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Father’s Day for the Bereaved Dad

Father’s Day for the Bereaved Dad

Father’s Day can be challenging for the bereaved dad, just like Mother’s Day is for the bereaved mom. It only adds to the problem when fathers who have lost a child do not receive the support they need (but may not ask for) after their loss. This is not a fact I recognized around the time of Zachary’s passing, which I am sorry for. I was very introspective and self-focused back then, which is okay when you are trying to hold it together yourself. I still attempted to be there for my husband, though I’m not sure if I did a good job of it. My husband Aaron resumed life quickly after our loss, which at the time hurt me deeply. I felt abandoned by my partner and couldn’t see that he was grieving. Boy, was I wrong! I did not appreciate...

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Mother’s Day for the Bereaved Mom

Mother’s Day for the Bereaved Mom

Mother’s Day is a mix of emotions for the bereaved mom. It can be full of highs and also lows. I do want to encourage all mom’s to take heart this Mother’s Day: However you hold your baby, in your arms or in your heart… … Remember these things: You are MOM You are strong Love never dies You are brave for all you’ve endured Sunshine comes after the storm The rawness of grief will not last forever Mother’s Day is a chance to remember Your baby will never be forgotten   If you are looking for a way to celebrate Mother’s Day as a bereaved Mom – or for a bereaved Mom you know – here are a few ideas: Plant a memory garden Meditate in nature Create a symbolic painting Start a new journal Write your...

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The Importance of International Bereaved Mother’s Day

The Importance of International Bereaved Mother’s Day

I just clicked “publish” on my first article as a Huffington Post regular contributor. It is called “The Importance of International Bereaved Mother’s Day.” First of all, I want to say that I really appreciate the opportunities – both online and off – to write about loss, grief, and healing, particularly the loss of a child. When all of our voices come together, sharing stories and honouring our babies, our birth experiences and ourselves as Moms, then I believe we will change the stigma around our types of losses. Then, I hope, we will help foster a healthy cultural response to miscarriage, stillbirth, other types of pregnancy loss, and also the death of infants. Secondly, you can help join in this conversation. One way...

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A Healthy Grief Movement

A Healthy Grief Movement

I want to bring people together to create a “Healthy Grief Movement.” Will you join me? What I see as some of the “manifesto points” of this movement: People are encouraged and feel comfortable talking about their own losses and speaking with others who are grieving. Sharing stories of life and death that help both the storyteller and the listeners. Children are brought up understanding that death is a natural and beautiful part of life. There is a healthy vocabulary to discuss challenging topics. There are cultural rituals to support the bereaved and remember the deceased. These are just some ideas. Do you have others? Though I am not entirely sure what this “Healthy Grief Movement” will look like, I have made some graphics to...

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The Pregnancy Loss Journey – Guest Post by Christy

The Pregnancy Loss Journey – Guest Post by Christy

I want to introduce Christy to our community here at Wanted Chosen Planned. A month or so ago, Christy interviewed me for her podcast called Pregnancy Loss Journey, which will air around the time my memoir, Expecting Sunshine, hits the shelves in April, 2017. Christy and I talked on the phone long after the podcast interview was wrapped up. It amazes me how she has contributed so much to bereaved moms and dads while she is still under a year from her loss of Chloe Grace. Christy’s story is inspiring and I hope you also find comfort and new perspectives as you read. Welcome Christy! The Pregnancy Loss Journey On May 23, 2016, Chloe Grace was delivered into this world, stillborn. My heart soared the moment they laid her on my chest. She was absolutely...

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