Father’s Day for the Bereaved Dad

Father’s Day for the Bereaved Dad

Father’s Day can be challenging for the bereaved dad, just like Mother’s Day is for the bereaved mom. It only adds to the problem when fathers who have lost a child do not receive the support they need (but may not ask for) after their loss. This is not a fact I recognized around the time of Zachary’s passing, which I am sorry for. I was very introspective and self-focused back then, which is okay when you are trying to hold it together yourself. I still attempted to be there for my husband, though I’m not sure if I did a good job of it. My husband Aaron resumed life quickly after our loss, which at the time hurt me deeply. I felt abandoned by my partner and couldn’t see that he was grieving. Boy, was I wrong! I did not appreciate...

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Mother’s Day for the Bereaved Mom

Mother’s Day for the Bereaved Mom

Mother’s Day is a mix of emotions for the bereaved mom. It can be full of highs and also lows. I do want to encourage all mom’s to take heart this Mother’s Day: However you hold your baby, in your arms or in your heart… … Remember these things: You are MOM You are strong Love never dies You are brave for all you’ve endured Sunshine comes after the storm The rawness of grief will not last forever Mother’s Day is a chance to remember Your baby will never be forgotten   If you are looking for a way to celebrate Mother’s Day as a bereaved Mom – or for a bereaved Mom you know – here are a few ideas: Plant a memory garden Meditate in nature Create a symbolic painting Start a new journal Write your...

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The Importance of International Bereaved Mother’s Day

The Importance of International Bereaved Mother’s Day

I just clicked “publish” on my first article as a Huffington Post regular contributor. It is called “The Importance of International Bereaved Mother’s Day.” First of all, I want to say that I really appreciate the opportunities – both online and off – to write about loss, grief, and healing, particularly the loss of a child. When all of our voices come together, sharing stories and honouring our babies, our birth experiences and ourselves as Moms, then I believe we will change the stigma around our types of losses. Then, I hope, we will help foster a healthy cultural response to miscarriage, stillbirth, other types of pregnancy loss, and also the death of infants. Secondly, you can help join in this conversation. One way...

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Remembering Avery – Guest Blog by Nicole Addy

Remembering Avery – Guest Blog by Nicole Addy

I love sharing stories here on Wanted Chosen Planned. There is power in vulnerability to transform our lives and also to help others. This guest blog post is from Nicole Addy and I am honoured to join with her in celebrating the important life of her baby, Avery. Nicole reached out to me not long ago and shared how Wanted Chosen Planned helped her after her loss – words sent out from my computer in Edmonton, Canada received on her screen in Manchester, England! Now that is the power of meaningful connection! Our stories bring us together and I truly believe we are stronger as a group than when we grieve alone. On that note, welcome Nicole!   Remembering Avery It seems like so much has happened since we lost Avery back in October 2016. Only a few short...

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Why you need support in your pregnancy after loss

Why you need support in your pregnancy after loss

In my first pregnancy after loss, I was so terrified of losing another child. I couldn’t picture giving birth to a baby that lived. It was a paralysing fear. Despite the fact that I was so eager to have and love that next baby with all my heart, that pregnancy was rough. It was a season full of anxiety. I write about this experience in my forthcoming memoir, Expecting Sunshine, which will be released April 2017 by She Writes Press. In Expecting Sunshine, I share about the conflicting emotions during pregnancy after loss, and all the things I did in the attempt to be calm and find peace. The one resounding message that I can share from that time: Support is crucial in pregnancies after loss. This may seem so obvious, but it’s not. I remember my...

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Never Alone

Never Alone

Kids say the most profound things. Yesterday, Christmas Day 2015, my daughter Hannah startled me with a comment. Our family was driving to visit my parents and en route we were discussing the fact that not everyone has someone to spend the holidays with. Christmas is not an easy time of year for everyone. From the backseat Hannah said, “Mommy, you are never alone – you have baby with you all the time.” She was talking about my second Rainbow Baby, the child I am 37 weeks anxiously expecting. Then Hannah continued: “And Zachary is always with you too!” This realization made me smile. My first son, my baby that I miss dearly; he is always with me. Zachary is never far from my thoughts. My love for him never wanes. I am never...

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