Practical Thoughts on Remembering Your Baby

Practical Thoughts on Remembering Your Baby

October is Pregnancy Loss and Infant Death Awareness month. It is both a special time to celebrate the small lives we hold in our hearts and also a time to let that same heart be sad. We who have lost have lost so very much. It is okay to be a million emotions this month – or anytime. I know I have felt the full spectrum: sorrow, anger, reflection, depression, joy, gratitude, regret, longing…   How does this month make you feel?     ZACHARY’S 6TH BIRTH/DEATH DAY It just so happens that my family celebrates our special little man this month. Zachary was born, lived only a few minutes and then died – on October 14. He would have been six years old this year.   HOW THINGS HAVE CHANGED OVER THE YEARS Our family has always celebrated Zach’s...

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New Sweeties to Celebrate

New Sweeties to Celebrate

  On Wanted Chosen Planned, I share my story of losing a baby and having children afterwards – BUT I also dream of this being a community place. I welcome guest blog posts from individuals and families. If people need someone to talk to, I’m available (easily reached by email: info@alexismariechute.com). Plus, I have dedicated this whole online community to not only my son Zachary, but all the children of those who find themselves here. Celebrating Sweeties is a dedication page where families can email me with the name and birth/death date of their child, along with a picture if they choose. I make-up the designed image and post it, publically honouring that child and his or her family’s experience. It is a powerful act. It is bold. It fosters openness and...

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Speech from the Baby Steps Walk to Remember

Speech from the Baby Steps Walk to Remember

Last weekend was the Baby Steps Memorial Walk to Remember. It was a really great way to kick off Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month. I gave a speech that is very close to my heart. I spoke about the death of a child like being lost in the wilderness. For me, my son Zachary has become like Polaris, the North Star, who helps guide me out of the confusing and scary place. It is always tremendously special to be able to talk about my first son and to hear his name. Within my household, we talk about Zachary all the time, but to be in the company of others who don’t find that weird or uncomfortable is truly a blessing. It was so nice to have my Mom and Step-father and my husband’s parents join us. I don’t typically ask family and friends to attend these sorts...

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Infant & Pregnancy Loss Awareness Day, Remembering my Baby Zachary

Infant & Pregnancy Loss Awareness Day, Remembering my Baby Zachary

Today, October 15, is Infant and Pregnancy Loss Awareness Day. It is a time to share stories and find support. An even greater level of awareness is needed I believe around miscarriage, stillbirth, SIDS, early infant loss and all other types of losses. Why? Because these deaths are shockingly common, yet are not discussed openly to the same proportion. I still remember when Zachary died; I thought, “What has happened to me? I am all alone in this; flawed and outcast from motherhood.” I do not wish anyone else to feel that way – it was devastating and raw, as if my insides had been grated and my soul drowned in blackness. I attended a conference in September, a congress on baby loss and bereavement, and there met a host of doctors from around the world that are...

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Baby Steps Memorial Walk 2014 – Photos and Speech

Baby Steps Memorial Walk 2014 – Photos and Speech

This past weekend was a special time for many families as they gathered to celebrate the little babies they miss and love so much. The event was the 2014 Baby Steps Baby Loss Memorial Walk. I was honoured to be a part of it. Here are some of the highlights of the Walk in photographs – and also a video of my speech. There were lots of little kids present so the video is quite noisy, but I’m glad all those little munchkins were there! Just a little reminder, coming up next week is the Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day celebrated on October 15 every year. I have been partnering with Canadian magazine Today’s Parent to discuss loss and on the 15th we will be opening up this discussion. Today’s Parent will be launching some interesting articles and features....

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A Miscarriage and Baby Loss Campaign by Today’s Parent Magazine

A Miscarriage and Baby Loss Campaign by Today’s Parent Magazine

I was in Toronto this week to be interviewed by the lovely ladies at Today’s Parent Magazine. They are releasing a hugely important campaign to support those who have experienced the death of a child. I commend Today’s Parent for tackling this challenging and taboo subject – and also for giving me the opportunity to share Zachary’s story. I am passionate about dispelling the silence and loneliness around this type of loss with the goal of connecting people, both men and women, in a caring and compassionate community. As I often do when I retell my family’s story, I cried and smeared my make-up during the interview. I still get choked up every now and then, even after almost four years, but I’m okay with my emotions these days. I accept them as a beautiful part of...

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