Why you need support in your pregnancy after loss

Why you need support in your pregnancy after loss

In my first pregnancy after loss, I was so terrified of losing another child. I couldn’t picture giving birth to a baby that lived. It was a paralysing fear. Despite the fact that I was so eager to have and love that next baby with all my heart, that pregnancy was rough. It was a season full of anxiety. I write about this experience in my forthcoming memoir, Expecting Sunshine, which will be released April 2017 by She Writes Press. In Expecting Sunshine, I share about the conflicting emotions during pregnancy after loss, and all the things I did in the attempt to be calm and find peace. The one resounding message that I can share from that time: Support is crucial in pregnancies after loss. This may seem so obvious, but it’s not. I remember my...

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Remember your Child in Expecting Sunshine Memoir

Remember your Child in Expecting Sunshine Memoir

About a year ago I asked if anyone wants their child’s name commemorated in my memoir, Expecting Sunshine: A heartwarming journey of grief, healing and pregnancy after loss. This is the final call for names! I am just finalizing the contract for publishing my book and soon the manuscript will be off with the publisher! It has been such a long process to get to this point, but I am so excited!   Just to show how long the publishing process really is on a book:   I wrote my memoir about my pregnancy after loss in 2011-2012. Editing it ever since, both on my own and with professional editors. Searched for an agent. Found an agent. Agent pitched my book to the big publishers. Big publishers replied: wonderfully written book BUT the subject matter is too...

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Please Support Expecting Sunshine

Please Support Expecting Sunshine

I haven’t posted in what feels like ages. There is a very good reason for this. Two words: EXPECTING SUNSHINE This is my documentary film about having a baby after losing a baby. It is my passion project right now, connecting my art, writing, and love for supporting others – all into one. Expecting Sunshine is an important film. It will raise awareness and hopefully help to break the taboo around the loss of a child. It will also bring to light how challenging it is to have a baby after these types of deaths. This topic is not addressed enough.   Have you had a child after you lost a child? What was your experience like?  Maybe you are pregnant after the death of your baby. How are you coping?   In a project with such a huge scope as...

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Speech from the Baby Steps Walk to Remember

Speech from the Baby Steps Walk to Remember

Last weekend was the Baby Steps Memorial Walk to Remember. It was a really great way to kick off Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month. I gave a speech that is very close to my heart. I spoke about the death of a child like being lost in the wilderness. For me, my son Zachary has become like Polaris, the North Star, who helps guide me out of the confusing and scary place. It is always tremendously special to be able to talk about my first son and to hear his name. Within my household, we talk about Zachary all the time, but to be in the company of others who don’t find that weird or uncomfortable is truly a blessing. It was so nice to have my Mom and Step-father and my husband’s parents join us. I don’t typically ask family and friends to attend these sorts...

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Baby Steps Memorial Walk this Sunday

Baby Steps Memorial Walk this Sunday

This Sunday, October 4, 2015, is the Baby Steps Memorial Walk in Edmonton, Alberta. I am honoured to share my reflections on this life after loss in the keynote speech. I was not able to speak at the Walk in August, as planned, because of a scary finding in my current pregnancy. If you want to read about my experience, you can click here. Feeling much more optimistic, I am looking forward to connecting with the special community of those in and around Edmonton this Sunday. There are so many who have been through the death of a child and yet are so open, welcoming and compassionate. It is an incredible group of individuals. I would encourage you, if you have lost a child, please consider attending the Baby Steps Walk or another event in your area. It truly makes a...

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Encouraging Test Results

Encouraging Test Results

ENCOURAGING RESULTS: Since I shared my “Struggling & How to Help” post a few weeks ago, I have received a few encouraging test results. I have had a lot of people ask if I have had any news, so I am sharing it here. It can be easier to write it out for all to read, opposed to answering the same questions over and over. The test results came back to me staggered. The first result was a little ray of hope in the darkness which felt like déjà vu. The second test result was a little more sunshine for my soul – but not total relief. Still, I feel encouraged moving forward.   WHERE I’M AT: I have told a few people about these results and have had some of those individuals sigh and say things like, “I’m so glad everything is okay,” and “thank goodness it...

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