Father’s Day for the Bereaved Dad

Father’s Day for the Bereaved Dad

Father’s Day can be challenging for the bereaved dad, just like Mother’s Day is for the bereaved mom. It only adds to the problem when fathers who have lost a child do not receive the support they need (but may not ask for) after their loss. This is not a fact I recognized around the time of Zachary’s passing, which I am sorry for. I was very introspective and self-focused back then, which is okay when you are trying to hold it together yourself. I still attempted to be there for my husband, though I’m not sure if I did a good job of it. My husband Aaron resumed life quickly after our loss, which at the time hurt me deeply. I felt abandoned by my partner and couldn’t see that he was grieving. Boy, was I wrong! I did not appreciate...

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A Healthy Grief Movement

A Healthy Grief Movement

I want to bring people together to create a “Healthy Grief Movement.” Will you join me? What I see as some of the “manifesto points” of this movement: People are encouraged and feel comfortable talking about their own losses and speaking with others who are grieving. Sharing stories of life and death that help both the storyteller and the listeners. Children are brought up understanding that death is a natural and beautiful part of life. There is a healthy vocabulary to discuss challenging topics. There are cultural rituals to support the bereaved and remember the deceased. These are just some ideas. Do you have others? Though I am not entirely sure what this “Healthy Grief Movement” will look like, I have made some graphics to...

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The Male Perspective on Grief

The Male Perspective on Grief

I have people ask me all the time: How did your husband cope with his grief? My first reaction for MANY YEARS was: I have no idea It seemed like he wasn’t really grieving And he never really talked about it I assumed he was doing okay   I have since had all four of those reactions turned on their head. I learned: I had no idea how my husband, Aaron, was grieving because he often tried to be strong for me, therefore didn’t always show his feelings. Aaron was grieving, deeply; his grief just looked different from mine and so I didn’t recognize it or understand it the same way as my own. Men are not encouraged to share their feelings as much as women, and sometimes when they do they are made to feel less manly or in control. We can never...

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Remembering Avery – Guest Blog by Nicole Addy

Remembering Avery – Guest Blog by Nicole Addy

I love sharing stories here on Wanted Chosen Planned. There is power in vulnerability to transform our lives and also to help others. This guest blog post is from Nicole Addy and I am honoured to join with her in celebrating the important life of her baby, Avery. Nicole reached out to me not long ago and shared how Wanted Chosen Planned helped her after her loss – words sent out from my computer in Edmonton, Canada received on her screen in Manchester, England! Now that is the power of meaningful connection! Our stories bring us together and I truly believe we are stronger as a group than when we grieve alone. On that note, welcome Nicole!   Remembering Avery It seems like so much has happened since we lost Avery back in October 2016. Only a few short...

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A Tattoo to Remember

A Tattoo to Remember

I heard something really interesting last night at the class I teach called Healing Art for Mourning Parents. The class is all about using different creative methods to help process grief and also to help remember the children lost too soon. We were making collages and one gentleman in the group included an image of a person being tattooed. I asked him about why he chose that image and he said because it was like being scarred with remembrance. I thought that was an interesting response.   Do you have a tattoo to remember your child? If you are comfortable, please share about your tattoo (or a picture) in the comments.   I have thought about getting a tattoo for many years, but I think my needle phobia would prevent more than a permanent little dot on...

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Innovative course helps bereaved parents through art

Innovative course helps bereaved parents through art

I would love to share with you a ground-breaking community-focused course that is beginning again soon in Edmonton. Here is more info about “Healing Art for Mourning Parents.”  HEALING ART FOR MOURNING PARENTS Losing a child is one of the most unimaginable scenarios for parents who dream of bringing home their baby and starting a life together. When tragedy strikes, which it does for 1/5 pregnancies ending in miscarriage and 1/160 pregnancies ending in stillbirth, the parents often feel the sting of isolation and stigma as they mourn without support.   This is where Healing Art for Mourning Parents comes in. The course takes place at South Pointe Community Centre in south Edmonton as a part of their Wellness Project. The Wellness Project offers education and...

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