Remember your Child in Expecting Sunshine Memoir

Remember your Child in Expecting Sunshine Memoir

About a year ago I asked if anyone wants their child’s name commemorated in my memoir, Expecting Sunshine: A heartwarming journey of grief, healing and pregnancy after loss. This is the final call for names! I am just finalizing the contract for publishing my book and soon the manuscript will be off with the publisher! It has been such a long process to get to this point, but I am so excited!   Just to show how long the publishing process really is on a book:   I wrote my memoir about my pregnancy after loss in 2011-2012. Editing it ever since, both on my own and with professional editors. Searched for an agent. Found an agent. Agent pitched my book to the big publishers. Big publishers replied: wonderfully written book BUT the subject matter is too...

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Speech from the Baby Steps Walk to Remember

Speech from the Baby Steps Walk to Remember

Last weekend was the Baby Steps Memorial Walk to Remember. It was a really great way to kick off Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month. I gave a speech that is very close to my heart. I spoke about the death of a child like being lost in the wilderness. For me, my son Zachary has become like Polaris, the North Star, who helps guide me out of the confusing and scary place. It is always tremendously special to be able to talk about my first son and to hear his name. Within my household, we talk about Zachary all the time, but to be in the company of others who don’t find that weird or uncomfortable is truly a blessing. It was so nice to have my Mom and Step-father and my husband’s parents join us. I don’t typically ask family and friends to attend these sorts...

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Do you want your deceased child’s name remembered in my book?

Do you want your deceased child’s name remembered in my book?

As many of you know, I have written a memoir called Expecting Sunshine about my experience of losing Zachary and having my next child Eden. I wrote the memoir back in 2011 and have been editing it for the last three LONG years. Crazy, I know, but I want it to be just right. Finally, as you read this, I am putting the finishing touches on the text and am excited to move forward in the next stages with my book. As I was editing just now, I had an idea! I have one scene where I am attending the Walk to Remember and am reading names along the sidewalk, looking for Zachary’s name. Currently, I have made-up names listed there – but I began to wonder if any of you would like to include your deceased child’s name. It could be a special way to commemorate your son...

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Autumn Baby Loss Memorial Events

Autumn Baby Loss Memorial Events

Why attend a memorial event? You can remember and celebrate your child. You can be vulnerable and open with your emotions in a non-judgemental environment. You can find community in the presence of others who have also lost a child. You can create mementos and keepsakes. You can find support and resources to help you along the journey of grief.   For a list of baby walks and events, please visit the Resources page.     Here are a few updates of memorial events for my home city of Edmonton:   Walk to Remember, Edmonton This event is not happening in 2014. It is unclear from the website if this is a one-year hiatus or if the event has concluded permanently.   Baby Steps Memorial Walk Also, find Baby Steps on Facebook. Date: Saturday,...

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Grieving Children of All Ages: Reflections on the Walk to Remember, Chicago

Grieving Children of All Ages: Reflections on the Walk to Remember, Chicago

My husband Aaron and I recently attended a Walk to Remember in Chicago as a part of The Compassionate Friends of America National Conference. (I will write more about the conference and the workshop I presented, Healing through Visual Art, in upcoming blog posts.) Something different about The Compassionate Friends, their conference and Walk from what I have previously experienced is their focus on the loss of children – and siblings – of all ages. Sometimes I get very stuck in my own experience of losing a baby that I don’t always reflect on the parents who lose an older or even adult child. I do frequently think about my living children and fear for their safety, but to be honest up until this conference I had not contemplated at length all the grieving...

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Bleeding Hearts

Bleeding Hearts

I received a lovely email the other day from my mother-in-law. This is what she said: Hi Alexis Marie,   I was out in my garden today, and the tulip I planted in Zachary’s honor after ‘Walk To Remember’ a couple years ago is in full bloom. But this year it is coming up with a shrub I had planted last year and it is in bloom at the same time. The name of the shrub – Bleeding Heart. Very special to me, and I know it would be to you as well.   Love, Mom The bleeding heart. What a perfect picture of the grieving parent. For a long time I felt the jagged edges of what I could only describe as a broken heart but recently I was reading a book that used other symbolism to represent parental bereavement. Such symbols included a tea pot and a cracked nut, both able to...

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