Remembering Ruby: Guest Post by Sara Kalke

Remembering Ruby: Guest Post by Sara Kalke

I am pleased to introduce Sara Kalke. It is an honor for me to share Sara’s story here on Wanted Chosen Planned. I met Sara over three years ago shortly after her daughter Ruby passed away. We had an instant connection based on our losses and now I am proud to call her friend. I invited Sara to share her story here on Wanted Chosen Planned and I’m honored she agreed. Welcome Sara! Sara’s Story  My daughter, Ruby Jayne, weighed 6 pounds 10 ounces when she was born.  She had beautiful dark curly hair.  She had ten fingers and ten toes.  She had her daddy’s nose and my lips.  She filled my arms just like a newborn should.  She fit perfectly into the pink onesie I had ready for her in my hospital bag.  She looked sweet and kind and full of the...

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Will My Family Ever Be Complete? The Decision to have a Child after Loss

Will My Family Ever Be Complete? The Decision to have a Child after Loss

Having children after the death of a child can be one of the scariest decisions and processes there is. For some, conception alone is not an easy road. For others, the stress only begins when the two pink lines appear… side-by-side with the realization that nine months is a long time to worry for the safety and health of your next child. BUT, before all these joys and worries, is the decision to have another child in the first place. I believe it is important to note that not everyone has this ability to chose – and that is a loss worth grieving in itself. The very question of whether or not to try again can cause an emotional rollercoaster. Of course the decision to have more children is influenced by many factors – yet for people who have previously lost...

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Grieving {Guest Post}

Grieving {Guest Post}

I met Bobbi Junior at a social network marketing class I taught at Harcourt house for artists and writers in the fall of 2013. When I shared Wanted Chosen Planned as an example of my blogging efforts, Bobbi realized that she and I had something in common; early infant loss. I was intrigued to hear Bobbi’s perspective on the death of her child since she has many more years experience on this journey than me.   Thank you, Bobbi, for this blog post. I’m sure it will encourage many.      Her gravestone reads, “Wendy Lorraine Junior. Budded on earth to bloom in heaven. April 23 – 25, 1985” My husband, Rick, picked the phrase from a page of quotes provided by the funeral home. I had tried to choose, but none felt worthy of our baby girl. She was being buried...

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New Year’s Resolutions for the New Normal

New Year’s Resolutions for the New Normal

Resolutions are tough. We envision the perfect version of ourselves and set goals of how to morph into that person. While others resolve never to make a New Year’s resolution because they know that they will most definitely break it. I happen to like resolutions. Goals fuel me. Having a purpose becomes a motivating factor for me in moving forward with my life. Some of the things I have learned about this ‘new normal,’ this life after the death of a child, in terms of making New Year’s resolutions include: Life is unpredictable and no matter our plans, we may head in an unanticipated direction. Being adaptable, flexible, and open are character traits that will serve us well. It is still better to hope and believe and make plans knowing that they may get changed or...

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Remembering your Baby over the Holidays

Remembering your Baby over the Holidays

Christmas is one of the best times of the year – but it can also be very difficult for many people. For some the struggles are financial and practical while for others the feeling of being alone becomes tangible. If you have lost a baby, the ache for your child and the life they did not live may be forefront in your thoughts as you see other children sit on Santa’s lap at the mall or hear Christmas carols that remind you of your own childhood and all the dreams you had. At this time of year I am always reminded that Zachary was supposed to be a Christmas baby. My original due date was December 20th. How can we remember our precious children at Christmas time? Here are some ideas I am trying: Craft. I’m sewing a stocking for each of my children, Zachary...

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