Having a Baby after Loss

Having a Baby after Loss

I have not yet shared here, on Wanted Chosen Planned, that I am pregnant. Nor have I shared this news with all of my baby-loss friends and colleagues. My intent was to be sensitive to the grief of others. I remember when I was recently bereaved. Pregnancy announcements bothered me and the sight of round bellies had me in tears. Having a baby after loss is HARD. This blog is about life after the loss of a child and that often includes family planning and subsequent pregnancies. It is an important topic, although one I am having a hard time addressing these days… I am having a hard time because my coping mechanism this go around happens to be avoidance. It is very likely I would have avoided writing about this pregnancy at all if I didn’t feel the need to be...

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Today is International Bereaved Mother’s Day: The Meaning of Motherhood

Today is International Bereaved Mother’s Day: The Meaning of Motherhood

What is a mother? Is she someone who has had a healthy child? Yes, that is one definition. But what about women who have abused or abandoned their children? Should they be considered mothers? What about the woman whose child has died? Is she a mother?  I believe that the defining characteristic of a mother is her love. Just like faith and hope, love is an invisible quality but truly the strongest force in the universe – even stronger than hate. In the presence of so great a love as a mother for her child, a broken heart is understandable in the face of tragedy, but love is also the only true healer. Love cannot be killed, lost or destroyed. Love is eternal. With the death of a mother and father, the world does not assume the child had no parent at all. The...

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Reminder: May 4 is Bereaved Mother’s Day, download your free badge of honor

Reminder: May 4 is Bereaved Mother’s Day, download your free badge of honor

Celebrate mothers who have lost a child. Honor these women with love, support and thoughtfulness on International Bereaved Mother’s Day: Sunday, May 4, 2014. Please visit my post from April 24 to download a digital image to honour the bereaved family member(s) in your life. Click here to visit the post and download the image greeting.   Bereaved Mother’s Day is a chance to show yourself love, grace and kindness. You deserve it. No human should have to endure the loss and pain that you have survived, and yet, no matter what, you are still a mother. Join me on May 4 here on Wanted Chosen Planned to discuss the meaning of Motherhood, and also join me on twitter using the hashtag: #stillamom (You can find me: @_Alexis_Marie). I’m looking forward to...

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Grieving {Guest Post}

Grieving {Guest Post}

I met Bobbi Junior at a social network marketing class I taught at Harcourt house for artists and writers in the fall of 2013. When I shared Wanted Chosen Planned as an example of my blogging efforts, Bobbi realized that she and I had something in common; early infant loss. I was intrigued to hear Bobbi’s perspective on the death of her child since she has many more years experience on this journey than me.   Thank you, Bobbi, for this blog post. I’m sure it will encourage many.      Her gravestone reads, “Wendy Lorraine Junior. Budded on earth to bloom in heaven. April 23 – 25, 1985” My husband, Rick, picked the phrase from a page of quotes provided by the funeral home. I had tried to choose, but none felt worthy of our baby girl. She was being buried...

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Happy Mother’s Day?

Happy Mother’s Day?

Mother’s Day is complicated when your child has died, especially if you have no other living children. After the loss of my precious Zachary I thought, “Who am I?” as the following year elapsed without my consent and sadness festered. Other common feelings for those whose child has passed away include: What am I? Am I still a mother? I never had the opportunity to bring my baby home, feed him or her, change diapers, teach reading and bike riding or any of the other normal things mom’s get to do… So what does Mother’s Day mean for me? When hearing the question, “Am I a mother?” without hesitation I will tell you, “Yes!” From the moment you conceived and a love for your child blossomed in your heart, I believe you were and continue to be a mother. As you...

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