Healing, But Not Whole
I am thrilled to welcome back to Wanted Chosen Planned Jenny Albers! She is graciously giving us what I might call PART 2 to her initial guest post about losing her baby, called “Grateful Despite the Grief” (click here to read it). I appreciate the vantage point Jenny takes when viewing life. With no further delay, here we go. Healing, But Not Whole Healed. A word that, according to Merriam-Webster, means to “make free from injury or disease: to make sound or whole.” After three years of missing my baby, Micah, I don’t believe I will ever be completely healed. My heart has a permanent injury, a hole that will never be filled. And our family is missing one, making wholeness an impossibility. But time has allowed for healing, although I...
Read MoreGrief on Christmas Day: 5 Ways to Cope
First of all: Merry Christmas! However, maybe “Bah, humbug,” may be more appropriate. Grief is hard in the holiday season – and Christmas day may be a nagging reminder of who you have lost. For me, Christmas time is a reminder that my second child, Zachary, was supposed to be a Christmas baby. His original due date was just a few days before Christmas. Around this time, about eight years ago when I was early in my pregnancy with Zach, I remember wondering: Will I be late and deliver a baby on Christmas eve or day? I wasn’t sure if I wanted to avoid or aim for those dates. Will my son one day complain he doesn’t get enough presents because his birthday is so close to Christmas? Will the roads be slippery and I have to deliver in the...
Read MoreOctober is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month
October is PREGNANCY AND INFANT LOSS AWARENESS MONTH. Please join with me in raising awareness for this life-changing experience. October is a time to… Remember the children that have died. Celebrate their lives and how they live on in our hearts. Break down the taboos around this type of loss. Give needed support to families. Honor bereaved mothers and fathers, brothers and sisters, extended family and friends. At this very special time of year, Wanted Chosen Planned (and my book and film: Expecting Sunshine) will have a butterfly takeover! This takeover is to help remember, celebrate and spark conversation. If you are to Google “butterfly symbolism” this is what will come up: Butterflies are deep and powerful representations of life. Many...
Read MoreA Healthy Grief Movement
I want to bring people together to create a “Healthy Grief Movement.” Will you join me? What I see as some of the “manifesto points” of this movement: People are encouraged and feel comfortable talking about their own losses and speaking with others who are grieving. Sharing stories of life and death that help both the storyteller and the listeners. Children are brought up understanding that death is a natural and beautiful part of life. There is a healthy vocabulary to discuss challenging topics. There are cultural rituals to support the bereaved and remember the deceased. These are just some ideas. Do you have others? Though I am not entirely sure what this “Healthy Grief Movement” will look like, I have made some graphics to...
Read MoreInnovative course helps bereaved parents through art
I would love to share with you a ground-breaking community-focused course that is beginning again soon in Edmonton. Here is more info about “Healing Art for Mourning Parents.” HEALING ART FOR MOURNING PARENTS Losing a child is one of the most unimaginable scenarios for parents who dream of bringing home their baby and starting a life together. When tragedy strikes, which it does for 1/5 pregnancies ending in miscarriage and 1/160 pregnancies ending in stillbirth, the parents often feel the sting of isolation and stigma as they mourn without support. This is where Healing Art for Mourning Parents comes in. The course takes place at South Pointe Community Centre in south Edmonton as a part of their Wellness Project. The Wellness Project offers education and...
Read MorePractical Thoughts on Remembering Your Baby
October is Pregnancy Loss and Infant Death Awareness month. It is both a special time to celebrate the small lives we hold in our hearts and also a time to let that same heart be sad. We who have lost have lost so very much. It is okay to be a million emotions this month – or anytime. I know I have felt the full spectrum: sorrow, anger, reflection, depression, joy, gratitude, regret, longing… How does this month make you feel? ZACHARY’S 6TH BIRTH/DEATH DAY It just so happens that my family celebrates our special little man this month. Zachary was born, lived only a few minutes and then died – on October 14. He would have been six years old this year. HOW THINGS HAVE CHANGED OVER THE YEARS Our family has always celebrated Zach’s birthday. It is a time...
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