6 Holiday Memory Making Ideas for Bereaved Parents
If your heart has been broken by the loss of a child in miscarriage, stillbirth or any time after delivery, the holidays may be tough. It’s a season that emphasizes children, family and togetherness. All the things bereaved parents yearn for. When a baby dies, no matter what the age of the fetus or the child may have been, parents are left shaken, shattered and searching for hope. When my son, Zachary, passed away in my arms just moments after entering the world, I felt like my heart was torn in two. Even though those moments I had with him were heartbreaking, I also treasured each and every one. Nothing, I discovered, could part a mom and dad from the love they have for their child. What I didn’t learn until later, however, was that losing a baby very...
Read MorePractical Thoughts on Remembering Your Baby
October is Pregnancy Loss and Infant Death Awareness month. It is both a special time to celebrate the small lives we hold in our hearts and also a time to let that same heart be sad. We who have lost have lost so very much. It is okay to be a million emotions this month – or anytime. I know I have felt the full spectrum: sorrow, anger, reflection, depression, joy, gratitude, regret, longing… How does this month make you feel? ZACHARY’S 6TH BIRTH/DEATH DAY It just so happens that my family celebrates our special little man this month. Zachary was born, lived only a few minutes and then died – on October 14. He would have been six years old this year. HOW THINGS HAVE CHANGED OVER THE YEARS Our family has always celebrated Zach’s birthday. It is a time...
Read MoreCelebrate Moms of All Kinds on International Bereaved Mother’s Day
Thank you for reading and celebrating with me on International Bereaved Mother’s Day! No two Moms are exactly alike. We all have unique birth stories. We parent differently. Discipline our kids in distinct ways. We tell our own special stories at bed time. Some Moms choose to have three babies. Some don’t have a choice. Some Moms have no babies on this earth. There are many Moms that hold one or more children in their hearts. That’s life. Life is imperfect… – and it is these imperfections that makes it beautiful, sometimes tragically beautiful. Today, International Bereaved Mother’s Day is a wonderful opportunity to celebrate Moms of all kinds. What is your story? What kind of a mom are you? How many children do you have?...
Read MoreWhy it is Important to Celebrate International Bereaved Mother’s Day
This Sunday, May 1, 2016 is International Bereaved Mother’s Day. I look forward to this date with mixed feelings. Maybe you do as well. Mother’s Day is a celebration, but for many it is a hard reminder of an incredibly painful time. The loss of a child is an experience I would not wish on my worst enemy, yet it is all too common. One in four pregnancies end in miscarriage. One in one-hundred-and-sixty end in stillbirth. More children are lost to SIDS and other causes during infancy. These deaths are more than just statistics. They are little fingers that will never learn about the world through touch. They are tiny eyes that wont have the chance to smile every time they see their Mama or Dada. They are giggles and first words and cries for attention...
Read MoreNever Alone
Kids say the most profound things. Yesterday, Christmas Day 2015, my daughter Hannah startled me with a comment. Our family was driving to visit my parents and en route we were discussing the fact that not everyone has someone to spend the holidays with. Christmas is not an easy time of year for everyone. From the backseat Hannah said, “Mommy, you are never alone – you have baby with you all the time.” She was talking about my second Rainbow Baby, the child I am 37 weeks anxiously expecting. Then Hannah continued: “And Zachary is always with you too!” This realization made me smile. My first son, my baby that I miss dearly; he is always with me. Zachary is never far from my thoughts. My love for him never wanes. I am never...
Read MoreInternational Bereaved Father’s Day 2015
This Sunday, September 27 is International Bereaved Father’s Day. I encourage you to reach out to a Dad you know who is living without one (or more) of his precious children. Here are some simple ways to do so: Send a text or call on the phone. Just say, “Hi, thinking of you, if you ever need to talk…” Get together with the man. Quality time means the world – even if it is just playing Mario Cart. If the man and his family are planning a time of remembrance, ask how you can support them. If you are a bereaved father, please remember: You are still a dad. It is a part of who you are, whether your child is with you or not. Embrace how you are feeling. Don’t judge yourself – and if other’s judge you, ignore them. Surround yourself with supportive people and do...
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