Return to Zero

Return to Zero

Have you heard about Return to Zero? Tomorrow, Saturday May 17, the film Return to Zero will have its world television premier (Sunday May 18 in the UK). The movie is a true story of love, loss and hope. Minnie Driver and Paul Adelstein play a couple who have a stillborn child and face their ‘new normal’ afterwards.     When I watched the trailer, I couldn’t help but weep. I am so proud of this movie, and the anthology Three Minus One that I’m published in. I am passionate about dispelling the taboo around child loss that hinders couples from healthy grief in a supportive community. It is wonderful that couples and families that have been through loss can band together to support one another and commit to beautiful projects like Return to Zero and Three...

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Grieving {Guest Post}

Grieving {Guest Post}

I met Bobbi Junior at a social network marketing class I taught at Harcourt house for artists and writers in the fall of 2013. When I shared Wanted Chosen Planned as an example of my blogging efforts, Bobbi realized that she and I had something in common; early infant loss. I was intrigued to hear Bobbi’s perspective on the death of her child since she has many more years experience on this journey than me.   Thank you, Bobbi, for this blog post. I’m sure it will encourage many.      Her gravestone reads, “Wendy Lorraine Junior. Budded on earth to bloom in heaven. April 23 – 25, 1985” My husband, Rick, picked the phrase from a page of quotes provided by the funeral home. I had tried to choose, but none felt worthy of our baby girl. She was being buried...

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Home Burial by Robert Frost

Home Burial by Robert Frost

When I picked up a stack of reading for my MFA graduate student residency I had no idea that one little poem could touch me so vividly. Home Burial, by Robert Frost. I read the poem for a class on dialogue in literature. Home Burial was an example of dialogue used cleverly within poetry. Once I started reading I realized that the action of the poem is the argument between a married couple. Their baby had died. The husband buried the child in a plot on what I imagine to be their family farm. The couple are grieving very differently, they are hostile towards each other, and they sometimes seem like strangers. Marriage after the loss of a baby can be strained. The tragedy can bind two hearts together or tear them apart. What I learned in class is that Robert Frost...

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Answerless Questions after the Death of a Child

Answerless Questions after the Death of a Child

Is it a form of self-torture to ask yourself questions you’re aware have no answers? I’ve been mentally debating this lately. What is your opinion? At my daughter’s birthday party a while back one of the young guests’ parents came up to me and startled me with what he said. (Let’s call him Tim.) Tim had just been speaking with my husband Aaron and I guessed that they had been talking about Zachary. It turned out that Tim was a pediatric physician and he told me that if Zachary had lived he would have been in Tim’s care. This startled me because I had never thought about what type of post delivery care my son would have needed if he lived. At the time of the birthday party I did not let myself think about Tim’s words, busy with face painting and cake cutting, but...

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A Belated Father’s Day Wish

A Belated Father’s Day Wish

I couldn’t post on Father’s Day. I wanted to but found myself stumped. It’s tough to write about male grief when it is so different from my own experience. I have given up trying to understand my husband’s response to our son’s death. It may never click with me – and that’s okay. Men and women grieve so differently on top of the fact that every individual person will have a different experience and need support in a way that is unique to them. What I do know for sure is that marriage is difficult after the loss of a child. For some, it brings them closer, for others it tears them apart. Recently I met an older woman who has also lost a child. (Sometimes I feel like I am a magnet for people like me, but then I realize that there are simply are a lot of us. A sad...

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