Love is the True Healer

After writing about the cliché that says ‘time heals all wounds,’ I concluded that time is not our healer but our helper. Thus, my search continued to answer the question: Want can heal a broken heart?

The answer is simple. It’s LOVE.

No matter the type of loss, everything hinges on love.

Many couples who have lost a child believe having another baby will heal them – but what is actually healing is LOVE. Having another baby is healing because it brings a tremendous amount of love into our lives in a very visceral and tangible way.

Photograph copyright Alexis Marie Chute

Photograph copyright Alexis Marie Chute

Yet, if having a baby was the only way to heal after the loss of a child, what then for those who cannot have more children? Are they sentenced to a life without resolution to their pain? Of course not. Finding healing is not based having more children; that is one way to bring an increased amount of love into your life, but it is not the only way.

From my experience, I bring more love into my life by enjoying my passions. I immerse myself in my creative work; art, photography and writing, and spend time with my family (the people who are my biggest passion of all). The amount of love my passions hold for me then translates into so much joy that seeps into every facet of my daily experience.

I have also created more love in my life by slowing down and appreciating all the goodness and beauty around me. By cultivating authentic thankfulness for the amazing people, opportunities and blessings in my life it is much easier to let love’s healing sink in and penetrate the wounded corners of my heart.

Another way I bring more love into my life is by choosing to focus on and participate in the things that make me happy. This means no more self guilt or societal expectations to dictate my every move. When faced with decisions, I chose the option that make myself and my family feel happy and satisfied.

Yes, the love that flooded me when my third child Eden was born played a role in my healing, but all the choices I made to allow love into my journey of grief began the restorative work long before Eden was born. That love and healing did its good work so that when my new baby finally arrived, I was ready to pass on that love to him without pain.

1 Comment

  1. Charlotte
    Mar 4, 2013

    Alexis I loved your comments in this blog. I am sensing a real positive evolution in your feelings about grieving. You seem to have reached a place of much greater wisdom, and peace in this journey. Nothing will ever replace the loss of Zachery, however I am sure some greatness will be achieved by his life, however short it may have been.

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