Remembering Avery – Guest Blog by Nicole Addy

I love sharing stories here on Wanted Chosen Planned. There is power in vulnerability to transform our lives and also to help others. This guest blog post is from Nicole Addy and I am honoured to join with her in celebrating the important life of her baby, Avery. Nicole reached out to me not long ago and shared how Wanted Chosen Planned helped her after her loss – words sent out from my computer in Edmonton, Canada received on her screen in Manchester, England! Now that is the power of meaningful connection! Our stories bring us together and I truly believe we are stronger as a group than when we grieve alone. On that note, welcome Nicole!


Remembering Avery

It seems like so much has happened since we lost Avery back in October 2016. Only a few short months ago, but they’ve shaped me more as a person than my 25 years on earth.

The day she died, no one can prepare you for, I went in routinely at about 8pm because I’d not felt my girl all day, it had happened before but not for this long. Calmly, we sat in the waiting room, and then laughed and chatted to the nurse as she took my blood pressure. But then, it came to the heartbeat and she couldn’t pick it up with a Doppler – I knew at that moment that she was gone.

A consultant came in to scan and confirmed, I’m sure they were very heartfelt in how they told me, but honestly, I don’t remember a word they said to me from that moment. All I remember is I was just given a tablet to take and sent home knowing I’d be called at some point the next day.

That night was by far the worst night of my life, to even comprehend that we as women have go to bed  knowing that the tiny human who lit up our life, was eternally sleeping inside of us breaks my heart – and for the partners who have to get to sleep heartbroken for the loss of their baby, terrified for what’s ahead for their other half and feeling they have to be the strong one – I raise my hands to everyone who has been through ‘that first night’ – we made it through the worst!



The next day, I received a call from a woman called Vicky (now my bereavement midwife) who explained to me exactly what I was going to have to go through – this was hard to hear. Despite knowing deep down I couldn’t just have her taken out of me easily, I wasn’t quite prepared for the reality that I’d have to go through full labour, and that the tablet I’d taken the night before was preparing my cervix for just this – every emotion in the thesaurus that defines scared is how I felt. My mum came round that morning as her and Steven were my planned birthing partners, and so it was to stay that way, even though the ending of the story had changed, I wanted everything else to remain the same and that was minimal pain relief and my two favorite people by my side.

It took just about 15 hours from getting to hospital for my waters to break and that was it, from this point on, something took over my body which I cant quite describe (I say I switched off my humanity) because I went into focus mode. I didn’t cry, I didn’t complain, and somehow, I de-sensitised myself from what was happening – now looking back that’s just the strength that we have as women to get through things – we’re warriors and must never forget it!

At 10am on Wednesday 12th October, my beautiful angel Avery-Grace Chidgey was born sleeping and touched our hearts forever.



Meeting Avery has changed me forever – she was perfect in every way and I’m proud to say we created a miracle. Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t easy, I cried every second of it and I couldn’t pick her up at first or look at her face for too long, but after about 10 minutes I plucked up the courage to be alone with her, and tell her everything I could ever wish to tell her, and those special mother daughter moments nobody can ever take away from me, they’re just for us and I’m so grateful for them

Later on, Steven joined us – and we got to spend time as a family. Seeing Steven bravely pick her up and embrace her made me so proud to have such an amazing man by my side and father to our girl and future children.

The past few months have been a rollercoaster, some days are hard, some are positive (the harder ones do get further apart) but I can honestly say I would not have gotten through it without Steven. We’ve been a team throughout every step of the grieving process and share every emotion together, he’s opened my eyes to a kind of support and love that I could have only ever dreamed of and I thank my lucky stars daily that I found him. He was the one who encouraged me to start sharing my experiences on my website which has been a big part in my recovery.

Avery will always be our first baby; she’ll always be a big part of her future brothers and sisters’ lives – we’re a family and at the end of the day, that’s all that matters.



If you would like to share your story here, on Wanted Chosen Planned, please email Alexis Marie at with your 300 – 600 word guest post and 2 – 3 photographs.

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