Having a Baby after Losing a Baby – 39 Weeks

Having a Baby after Losing a Baby – 39 Weeks

I recently made a friend who had a stillborn baby not long ago. When we first met I was worried as I was very obviously pregnant. Instead of recoiling in disappointment, which would have been a very natural reaction, my new friend told me that my pregnancy was actually an encouragement for her. The fact that a woman can go on from losing a child to having a healthy pregnancy and baby is heartening and something she hopes for herself as well. I was surprised at this graceful and optimistic perspective and thus hope I can share here on Wanted, Chosen, Planned about my current pregnancy without causing pain for anyone who reads. I am 39 weeks pregnant and I had an epiphany the other day about the length of gestation as it relates to us who have lost a child: It is a...

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Mindfulness – Alive in our Moments

Mindfulness –  Alive in our Moments

When your child dies, so does your future. It’s a harsh reality but it is true in many ways. Maybe you can relate to some of the thoughts I had after my son Zachary died: We decorated the nursery… when do we take it all down? Or do we? Can we bring another child back to this room? The family dynamic I had pictured is gone and along with it my idea for vacations, activities, dinnertime table-talk. My daughter will not have a sibling close in age. I put work on hold to have kids, now what? My son won’t skin his knees bike riding, he won’t graduate college, marry or have kids of his own. Am I always going to feel this ache of my missing child? I have forgotten what makes me happy, nothing seems to do the trick, and I don’t know what the purpose of my life is...

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