Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day

It’s October 15 and International Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. It’s an important time to acknowledge our grief, honor our baby that died, and choose hope amidst our storm.

My son Zachary passed away nine years ago. My husband and I reflected that it still feels like yesterday. I remember the details of our loss so vividly. I probably always will.

What surprised me when we celebrated Zachary’s birthday, which was yesterday (October 14), was that the anger of our early years after our loss was not there as strongly. The love remains. And the longing. But the anger… not so much. 

I have learned that the love never dies. No matter what. Time changes the grief, and helps it, but the love is what heals and brings hope. 

I will write more fully about Zachary’s ninth birthday… it was different than previous years. In part because our living children are growing. In part because of the seasons of life we find ourselves in as a family. It was a meaningful day, and that is all that matters.

Whatever you are feeling today, honor it. Embrace the emotions. They are not good or bad.

Talk to someone you trust. If you want them to be a listening ear, tell them so. This will hopefully avoid them putting their foot in their mouth if they feel the need to speak and try to fix things.

Take time to do things that fill you up. Some ideas: take a walk in nature, read a good book, nap, light a special candle, make art, punch a pillow, hug someone for a really long time, meet up with friends, or dance to your favorite music.

Today sucks. I wish none of us had this heartbreaking experience. At the same time, I am so thankful for the light and the love that Zachary is in my life. I hope you can let the love you feel comfort you today.


Upcoming Expecting Sunshine Documentary Screening:

Come join us for the Salt Lake City screening of the award winning documentary, Expecting Sunshine!

Friday, October 25, 2019

6:30pm – Doors Open
7:00pm – Screening
8:00pm – Q&A with the Filmmaker

Salt Lake City Main Library
210 East 400 South
Salt Lake City, UT

Purchase tickets on eventbrite by clicking here. 

More information about the documentary can be found on the website,


Expecting Sunshine: A Journey of Grief, Healing and Pregnancy After Loss, the award-winning documentary, is based on the best-selling memoir by author-artist-filmmaker Alexis Marie Chute. The film brings viewers along on real-life medical appointments, introduces them to other bereaved parents and medical professionals in thought-provoking interviews, right through to the delivery room where she welcomes her “rainbow baby.” By producing this film, Chute seeks to break the taboo around pregnancy loss and pregnancy after loss. The film investigates different perspectives on traumatic birth, how loss affects personal identity and faith, and the ways families change, thrive and cope through grief. Also highlighted is the decision-making process around family planning after loss and the unique stresses of subsequent pregnancies. With poignant narration about grief and the healing journey, the documentary casts fresh light on a private and isolating experience, also offering hope & encouragement.

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